Interpersonal
conflicts are inevitable and they happen when people have disagreements with
ideas. It can also be an outcome of a lack of good communication skills. Here
is a scenario to consider:
Amy and
Jansen are a very close couple who have been together for 4 years. They have
just graduated from university and Jansen had started working in a well-known finance
company whereas Amy was still unemployed. Even though Jansen was a newly
employed staff in the company, they did not spare him from the number of projects
he was assigned to.
Amy felt
neglected after watching Jansen burying his head in front of his computer day
and night for several weeks without sparing some time from work for her. She compared
with other couples around her who also have busy schedules but could still make
time for each other but not Jansen. She also felt that the necessity for him to
take a break to prevent his body from overworking. With this thought, Amy
finally proposed a plan to Jansen about having a short weekend getaway to Bali.
Jansen, frustrated, replied that he currently does not have the extra time for
even a short trip since the deadlines are nearing. He also stressed to Amy
about the importance of giving a good impression to his superior since he was a
newly employed staff.
Despite
several attempts to convince Jansen to accept her idea, he only got more
irritated by her. Amy decided to take a break from this relationship because
she did not felt the need to be with someone who could not be there for her.
Would this
really be the end of their 4-year relationship or was there something Jansen
could have done in terms of giving Amy a better reply?
Hi Gena!
ReplyDeleteI think your post was really well written and it was very clear and concise, I enjoyed reading it.
Regarding the situation above, I feel that Jansen could have indeed done things differently. He could have been more understanding and explained to Amy his situation in a better manner. Such as taking a short break from work (1-2hrs) to resolve the issue/explain his circumstance in detail. This would then show Amy that he has actually took her suggestion as well as feelings into consideration but his situation rendered him unable to accede to her request. This then would not have made Amy feel like she was ignored or made her feel like she was not important! :)
Thank you for your compliment!
DeleteHello Gena!
ReplyDeleteGreat job with your blog post. Its well-written and illustrates a very relevant situation for people our age ;)
As Jansen was new to his job he not yet achieved sustainable work-life balance. In this transitional phase of his life, it was inevitable that he would face strains in his relationships as he attempted to juggle the many aspects of work. Amy should have be a little bit more patient with him so that he would not have felt so pressured. However Jansen appeared to be too engrossed and it seems that he did not put in the necessary quality time required in a relationship.
Whether or not the relationship is salvageable depends largely on how much Amy is willing to compromise in their relationship. If she is willing to adjust her expectations and Jansen is able to strike a suitable work-life balance, there is definitely hope for them to progress. In the meanwhile she take a chill pill and go to Bali for some rest and relaxation!
Stefanie
Hello Gena,
ReplyDeleteThank you for bringing up such a common conflict that happens in such a fast paced and busy society.
It was very concise and straight to the point and something that alot of young couples would have been into.
I feel that in all relationships, communication is the most important thing.
What Jansen could have done was to talk to Amy about how much less time he would have with her. But he should also try to spend some time with her at least by bringing her out for dinner every night.
Without any time for communications, the relationship would definitely fail.
However, Amy should have been more sensible. Being in a relationship for 4 years, she should have known how loving Jansen is and that this was only temporary.
Taking a break also helps relief stress between the two of them and I feel that it was a right choice for her to pamper herself after all the frustrations she must have felt.
But before she took that break, I feel that she should talk to Jansen about her feelings and let him know that she wants to take a short break and once he was ready, she would come back again.
Rainald